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Throwback Thursday - Love

Today I wanted to touch on love and growth. Below is a fragment of a poem I wrote years ago regarding love or better yet, the love I wanted to receive from others. It was written from a bitter place and a less understanding spirit. That is why I am grateful for growth & maturity. Revelation without forgiveness equals danger.

So, I hope this is able to encourage you to grow and/or continue growing so you can reach that place of understanding and peace.


A 4-letter word that lives amongst us all. It can sway our decisions for the good and the bad. Sometimes we ignore it and other times we answer its call. As a result, my experiences with it have made me both angry & glad.
I have always desired for it to pay me a visit through my father, family, pastor, and friends. My prayers were that our relationships could become more intimate  and my scars & wounds it could mend.

Confidence

If you had to rate yourself from 1 to 10 compared to everybody else what number would you pick? I know this is something that is used as an example a lot, but when you think about it it definitely says a lot about how you feel about yourself. Honestly, at this time in my life, I would probably rate myself a seven. Now for some people they might say why don't you pick a 10, but if you knew how I felt about myself five years ago you would realize the seven is a big increase.

You see, since puberty, I struggled greatly with self-esteem. I started to gain weight around puberty due to my gaining "curvaceousness" as they put it and my eating emotionally due to things going on with my family. So, the pounds came on & so did some of the jokes. Unfortunately, even though I was chosen I wasn't really able to see how God saw me differently than everyone else.

Their opinions became my Bible and I studied it like it was a Bible study. It's a shame, but my loving people an…

Throwback Thursday

Today I wanted to help those who struggle with confidence & fighting inner battles.  This is one of the first poems I remember writing. It was at a time where I was having a strong war within & it is nothing but the grace of God that has me in the correctmindset to discuss it today.

My Enemy and Friend
This person is someone I've seen time and time again And someone that I don't even know. Sometimes they are my best friend. Then on other days they're my worst foe. This person encourages me and tells me I can do anything. Then they tell me to just give up on the race. They tell me not to worry about what other people think. Then they laugh at me right in my face. This person blesses me with kindness and love. Then they curse me with cruelty and hate. They act like an angel sent from above. Then they become a demon sent right from hell's gates This person is sometimes my enemy. This person is sometimes my friend. They humiliate and discourage me. Then tell me I can make it to the…

Faithfulness: Press On Towards Your Purpose

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In our day and time is seems like we want things very easy. I know that it seems like I came out the gate with that one, but it's something that I've really seen lately in myself & in another's. It's like we want the strength that comes from hard work, but we don't want to do it. We want to get the props, but we don't like the process. It's all about getting things in the most convenient, easy way.

For example, this past Friday I held my first book launch party for my autobiography, “Bigger Than Me”. Mind you, this was my first time doing this. So, I did not know fully what I was in for.

I had to take care of refreshments, invite people to the event, get people to participate in the program, and many other things. Now, I got a lot of help from my church, leaders, and those closest to me, but it still wore me out. However, when I was able to see the video of the event it put a smile on my face. To be able to see that my blood sweat and tears resulted in…

R-E-S-P-I-C-T

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Take care, TCB.” Many of us who love a good, classic song and know parts of our entertainment culture are familiar with the song that include the lyrics above. We also are very familiar with the main topic of the song: respect. This seven-letter word carries various layers and aspects that show us strengths that should be maintained and weaknesses that need to be eliminated.

With these various layers, aspects, and encounters come different interpretations. According to Dictionary.com, respect means to have, “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person….” For some, keeping the definition of respect on one accord with how we actually feel is simple. However, for me, it was a bit more complicated due to the fact that it required me to let things go and move forward, which I honestly did not want to do at the time.

For me, respect and forgiveness were cousins I did not want to reunite. The thought of having to …

Comparison

One of the most common strategies I remember being used in English literature class discussions is "compare & contrast". It asked us to see how characters & situations in the piece were like each other, as well as how they were different.

It lead us to dig and decipher how the hero & the villain were actually more alike than presented, leading us to address how we all have various layers. However, it seems as if over the years comparison has lost that level of innocence.

It no longer seems to take place in a classroom. Now, the majority of it takes place on a touchscreen cellphone created by Apple or Android. Rather than it helping us analyze characters we are slowly losing our's.

No longer are we happy with ourselves because we feel it just is not good enough. We want to have what everyone else has, not knowing that many of them feel the same way we do.    

The older people used to always say that "the grass always looks greener on the other side".…

Overcoming Fear: Don't Let The Unknown Be In Control

Dictionary.com defines fear as, "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid." To me this couldn't be more true.

Over the last 5-6 months I've been going back-and-forth with fear, but it wasn't one that everyone usually talks about. It was fear of the unknown.

I've always been someone who values stability and control. I like to know what, how, when, where, & why something is going to happen. I want to know it all. However, God's not a God of "stability". He's a God of surrender, and that's exactly what I had to do.

See, I finished a book late last year which focuses on my life & battles. It touched on stuff that I’d worked on for years & brought forth struggles that I'd rather had kept private.

With that being said, it was a big step for me to reveal my journey & some of the valleys and mountains that were involve…