Love: Different Faces, One Motive

If you had to name the best way to show love, what would it be?

Would it include understanding and comfort? Support and encouragement? Maybe even discipline and honesty?

Over the years my idea of love has grown and is still growing.

In the past it was all about being told I was doing stuff well and being comforted when things didn't go my way. There was no thought of constructive criticism and definitely no desire for correction.

Thankfully, as I encountered different things I learned that guidance from someone who’s been down a road like your’s is love’s true foundation.

Think about it. The best advice and guidance you’ve got was always from someone who went through a situation like yours. They were able to encourage you better than anyone else could.

They were able to calm you down when things got under your skin & you were about to do something that would have made things worse. Please. Sometimes they were even able to tell you what you were thinking before you even said it. Go ahead and nod cause you know I’m telling the truth. Guidance from someone who understands your struggles firsthand is the best kind.

Thankfully, there are some of us who have learned to grow in maturity and accept this, & I am proud of you. But, let’s be real. If that was the majority of us, there would be no “Divorce Court”, no arguing on social media, no national disputes, no pew fights…Should I go on, cause if I did this blog entry would be 10 pages long.

Unfortunately, many of us, including myself, still go back-and-forth with the idea of having to answer to someone. So, we view guidance as control rather than care. I’ll go back to myself for example.

I have always been a very strong-minded individual. As a result, I valued getting my point across from a very young age. Now, that was not the worse thing until my fairy tale perspective on life was broken by various experiences.

Once that happened, I went from simply wanting to make a point to not wanting to hear anyone else’s. If you did not agree with me, it was like you were cursing. I just did not want to hear it. This caused friction and numerous incidents that could have been avoided.

I damaged relationships, earned a reputation that took years to shake, & it honestly may still be in the back of some individual’s minds to this day. Sadly, as much as I said I wanted to get rid of it, I was not able to until the root was addressed, and it was very simple: trust.

I had lost trust in others and God. In my opinion, they were wrong for doing things to me and He was wrong for allowing it to happen. I was not considering the fact that people, no matter how much they love you, are not perfect.

This means they are going to make mistakes. They are going to come up short. No matter how good their intentions are, there will always be an “oops” moment.

Also, everyone shows love slightly differently based on how it was shown to them. Now, if they’re showing a completely damaging love, then there needs to be healing & change. But sometimes we simply want people to be something they are not.

If they are not an emotional person you should not expect super tender love all of the time. Plus, sometimes we need tough love. (I am talking to myself right now.) Also, it goes the other way around. Sometimes we need the extra caring, affectionate love because as much as we are playing tough we need support. Even God does this at times.

Sometimes He comforts us by holding us in His arms. Other times He allows us to go through the fire to purify us, and He knows when each is needed because HE HAS WALKED IN OUR SHOES.

No matter what, He is doing what is necessary for us to grow because as a LOVING FATHER he wants us to reach our FULL POTENTIAL.

His love outweighs all, and he showed it by giving His life for us. (See Romans 5:8)

So, know that love won’t always have the same face & may not always come across the same way, but if it has God’s motive, of saving & bettering you, then it is true.


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