Showing posts from February, 2019

Temperance: Continue to build your walls

If you could name the thing that God has helped you grow the most in what would it be? Some may say patience because they used to not be able to wait on His timing. Others may say forgiveness because they were not able to let things go for their own good. Me, I would probably say temperance because I used to be a living, breathing fire cracker.

Anyone who knows me knows what I am talking about. There was a time in my life where if you looked at me wrong I tried to turn into a heavyweight boxer, with my words that is.

I would say whatever came to my mind with no filter at all. You would think I was a lawyer trying a case in front of the supreme court because I brought out all of my weapons. There was nothing that could stop me.

Now I'm not gonna lie, it felt good. The essence of saying what I want and not being controlled by others was amazing...for those few moments. Then, the consequences kicked in. The stares started. The relationships disappeared. People stopped wanting to talk…
From our first meeting
 you were there with hands and heart open on one accord,
not caring about others opinions or thoughts
regarding what I should be living for.
With love overflowing like the God that we serve
you helped ease every worry & calm every nerve.
With your smile, your spirit, & your soul honey sweet
you helped me see that no matter what my life in God was complete.
Opening up in various ways you were a sister and a friend
used by God to help me get to where he had for me to begin
With positivity and perspective,
joy and peace,
you encouraged many to trust in the Lord
and live their life in ease.
Even in you're going away
you have made it clear in the end
that we should all live every day like it's our last for Him.
So as you are laid to rest
with joy I decree, you were a tool that
God used to usher me.

May you Rest In Peace


All right, I'm ready to have a heart to heart. A real moment of honesty and truth.  A time where I pulled out some of my hidden feelings,  revealing what crosses my mind when life hands me a, "1, 2".
Now, some may think, "What is there really to show?" "What is there truly to say?" "You have won the good fight and you glow in Christ everyday."
What you don't realize is that divine involves difference  and that's not as easy as it seems. Because when stains are what is normal it feels really lonely to try to stay clean.
I'm not saying I am perfect  or that I don't do wrong.  However I've caught many a side-eye for trying to play "God's song".
From terms like "weird" to "church girl", the comments grew and grew,  starting from the cafeteria all the way to the pews.
It resulted in frustration  and added worry plus despair  because I wondered how God loved me, then allowed this treatment that was so unfair.