If you had to rate yourself from 1 to 10 compared to everybody else what number would you pick? I know this is something that is used as an example a lot, but when you think about it it definitely says a lot about how you feel about yourself. Honestly, at this time in my life, I would probably rate myself a seven. Now for some people they might say why don't you pick a 10, but if you knew how I felt about myself five years ago you would realize the seven is a big increase.
You see, since puberty, I struggled greatly with self-esteem. I started to gain weight around puberty due to my gaining "curvaceousness" as they put it and my eating emotionally due to things going on with my family. So, the pounds came on & so did some of the jokes. Unfortunately, even though I was chosen I wasn't really able to see how God saw me differently than everyone else.
Their opinions became my Bible and I studied it like it was a Bible study. It's a shame, but my loving people and wanting to please them became a burden rather than a blessing. It took various encouragement, conversations, and prayer to help me get to a point where I could hold my head up high regardless, and honestly, even now I have to cast that insecure little girl down sometimes.
From seeing who has more likes than me on Instagram or even wondering if I looked as good as I thought I did, there are times where I have to shut it down and say, "You are a precious jewel. God sees you as valuable regardless of what anyone else thinks."
Now, I know you might be thinking, "That's easy for you to say. You have a book and you have a blog. People are sure to love you." But it is not that simple.
I get support, however due to the fact that I am up against various other books and websites I constantly compare myself to others. Not giving a like is just as powerful as liking something on social media. It says that the person is not good enough.
Moments like that is when I have to cast the spirits of insecurity and doubt down by reminding myself that I am chosen and that will never change. God does not make mistakes and he does not choose those who are not useful and valuable. Regardless of what others do or don't say you are worth it.
So, during this holiday season of couples' pictures and parties do not let yourself be brought down. Instead remind yourself that you have the biggest supporter there is, the "GREAT I AM".