Last week we discussed how to evaluate your motives as a kingdom believer. We touched on the uncomfortable topic of truth, desires, & faith.
Now, as promised, we're going to discuss how to correct impure motives when they are discovered.
I remember still remember my most recent cleanup.
It was about a month and a half ago. My mom had just been recently released from the hospital & I was approaching the 1-year anniversary of my book, Bigger Than Me.
Now, the average person would say, “You should be happy? Your mom’s better & you have a book. What’s the problem?”
That’s just the thing. There was no problem. I had a decent paying job, a blog, and a book to say the least, but it wasn’t enough for me. When I would look at my old classmates from Hampton U & see other authors I grimaced because I felt that what I was doing was not enough.
I felt like a failure & I blamed God for it all.
Never considering timing. Never evaluating my plans and practices. Never having patience. Just angry & bitter.
This resulted in various breakdowns, changing emotions, and numerous blowups. It got to the point that I felt like I was going through an early midlife crisis.
I didn’t know how to feel. It was like I was in a whole that I couldn’t get out off. It got so bad that my big sister, whose discipled me for almost 4 years, decided after much prayer & council, to put our formal relationship on a slight hold.
It was a rough season. Rough because of what was happening & rougher when I realized I was the one making it happen.
See, God had not broken any of His promises & I had not lived long enough to see everything that He said He’d fulfill. My impatience was taking control once again, and my spoiled spirituality was becoming my downfall.
I had to make a change.
That’s how I stand before you now. I am taking baby steps. Reading devotional a once again. Trying to get more studying done on my fast days. Commanding my soul not to compare myself to others & taking this time to get myself back right.
See, at the end of the day the best way to fix this is to get BACK TO GOD.
Psalms 26:2 states, “Examine me, O LORD, and try me; Test my heart and my mind.” (AMP)
Give it over to God & let Him do the rest.